Kaci's Chronicles

Setting Sails

2011-09-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

During some of our very limited free time in Ethiopia, Efrain and I were doing our best to not think about all that needed to be done and give our minds a break when we ran across this little "book store" on the side of the street. This was a treasure to both of us for many reasons as we both enjoy old books: the look of them, the feel of them, the smell of them, and the countenance of wisdom and contentment they seem to carry.

We had quite the collection of keepers in our hand when we realized we were going to have to get them all back home in our suitcases that were already full. We had to settle with only a few, and of course this was not an easy process of elimination. Once we were over our huge disappointment of having to leave our good finds behind, we were quite happy with our new little treasures.

One titled Setting the Sails is a compilation of short stories divided by categories of experience. The introduction for the category I just began reading is beautiful and made me think about the place of my life I am in right now.

"Have you ever noticed the excitement around a railroad station, an airport, or a pier? Whenever you visit such places, you see people going and coming and hear their friends and relatives say, 'Welcome home' or 'Happy times on your trip.' Those returning from journeys are excited about things that they have seen and done, and they can hardly wait to share their experiences with others. Those departing are excited about the experiences ahead - the things that they plan to see and do while away.

"Some persons who return from journeys do more than relate their experiences to friends and relatives - they write travel stories based upon what they have seen and done so that large numbers of people may share their experiences. These stories are very interesting, for they tell of things that you would see and do were you to make the journeys yourself. Moreover, they are important, for they help you to understand better the world around you."

Less than 2 weeks ago we returned to Germany after spending 2 months in Ethiopia where we experienced so much. A few days ago Efrain and I purchased our tickets for going home. Last night was the graduation for the school we have been a part of for the last 5 and 1/2 months which began immediately after being part of another school the previous 7 months. In a couple weeks we will be headed to the Dominican Republic and on our way to the States to meet each others families and friends and share about our journeys.

I am both arriving and departing and departing and arriving to and from very significant times in my life. I am very much looking forward to this next leg of my journey. Thanks for traveling with me.

Kuribel the School Boy!

2011-09-03T02:35:00.000-07:00

I have exciting news!

As you know, we have been searching for a way to help Kuribel, a 10 year old street boy, off of the street.

I am going to save the details and stories for later when I have more time but I wanted everyone to know that God is so faithful. Kuribel is officially a school boy!

He should never have to sleep another night on the street, go another day without food, or go months without showering ( shew! ). :]

Thank you so much for praying! I can't tell you how relieved and excited we are! And I can't wait to be able to share the stories with you!

We leave tomorrow night to go back to Germany! What timing, huh?!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for being a part of this with us and for every thought, encouragement and prayer you gave.

Kuribel!

2011-08-14T03:12:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update on the situation with the boys...

We found Kuribel yesterday! We decided on Friday afternoon to spend Saturday morning looking for him in an area where street boys usually hang out. Our friend Girma was excited to help us. On Friday evening he began asking around for information on his whereabouts and we were surprised to learn a few things. I'll spare you all of the details but basically he was hiding from us for fear of us reporting him to the police for taking my money.

We were also warned to prepare ourselves for when we see him because he doesn't look like the same Kuribel from two weeks ago.

The next morning Efrain and I, a few students and Girma set off with anticipation and anxiety about the adventure we were nervously setting off on. The area we were told he was staying is the worst area in all of Addis Ababa for crime and things of that sort. Girma insisted this area was much too dangerous for us so he took us to a cafe near the area where we waited for him to report back. While we waited we took some time to pray for protection for Girma and for God to lead him to Kuribel.

Only about 30 minutes later Girma called us and said they were on there way. And only a few minutes later we were all lavishing Kuribel with hugs and kisses, telling him over and over again how much we missed and loved him. We went somewhere that we could all sit and eat together. It was true that he looked a lot different. He was wearing a scarf around his head, a shirt that was much too big for him, he had lost a lot of weight and his cheeks weren't cutely chubby as before. Once we arrived at the restaurant Efrain took him into the bathroom and helped him change into some of his clothes that he had left at our house that we brought with us.

The purpose of his head scarf was to cover up something that we later found out was a fungus problem. I can't even to describe to you what it looked like, which is probably a good thing. Just know, it was gross. We took him to the hospital after we ate and spent the rest of the day there. We got him medication and a check up. We had heard different things from other street boys about the possibility of him having Typhoid and we were concerned about that but the doctor told us that it had already been treated.

Thank you for praying for us and we'll continue to keep you updated. We still have no idea what to do but we are so thankful for having had the opportunity to tell him he is forgiven and loved.

Will continue to try keeping you updated and look forward to sharing more stories when we get back to Germany!

Street boys and Ethiopia.

2011-08-09T04:17:00.000-07:00

I have been anxious to write an update but time and good internet connection has been scarce. Now I've got the internet connection but not much time. I'm going to do the best I can with the time I have to share with you part of what we have been doing in Ethiopia the last few weeks.

One night a couple weeks ago my team and I were at a youth service and there was a little boy that really stood out to me. It was a special youth service and they invited the street kids from the city. This little boy was one of those street kids. My friend, Girma, translated for me and I was able to ask him where he lived. He lives on the street. Hearing it from him hurt my heart. I told him I wanted to be his friend and asked if he would meet me the next day at lunch time. I was afraid he wouldn't show because I so badly wanted to get to talk to him again, but I didn't have to worry long because the next morning before breakfast time as I walked past our meeting place he ran up to me as he had already been waiting on me!

His name is Kurbel and he is 10 years old. He came with a friend, Shimilis, and he is 14 years old. We took them to breakfast and then they came back to our house with us for the rest of the day. Once the day was over we knew we couldn't let them stay with us. We gave them some food, taxi money and a time to meet the next day. Before the door was closed I was on my way to my room crying from the pain of knowing I just sent the boys to sleep on the street with a fear of being woken up by being beaten by police. The only comfort I could find lay in knowing I would see them the next day.

The plan was once again to meet them at lunch time and once again they were there before breakfast time. They spent the day with our team and Efrain and I spent several hours talking about the situation. I felt strongly that this was an answer to our prayer for God to go before us and put people in our lives that are ready for change. There was something unique about these boys in comparison to the majority of street boys.

After Efrain and I discussed the risks, concerns and fears relating to jumping into the challenge of trying to help the boys get off the street, we decided to let them stay the night with us. That night as I lay awake in my bed listening to the thundering storm outside, I was so relieved to know they were in the next room sleeping like babies with no worries or fears.

While me and the two girls in my room moved our beds into the other girls room, Efrain was helping the boys shower and giving them clean clothes. We made them a bed and our friend, Girma, helped us tell them that we felt God had put them in our lives and that He has good things for them. We were able to share about God with Kurbel for the first time in his life.

The next morning Girma helped us have individual conversations with the boys. We asked about their families and pasts, we asked how long they had been on the streets and we asked them if they really wanted their lives to be changed. When seeking wisdom from many long termers in the area about the situation we learned that most of the street boys don't actually want their lives to be changed because they have grown accustomed to the freedom that comes with the lifestyle. If freedom is what you want to call it.

What we heard from the boys was both heartbreaking and hopeful. Their stories were terrible but the innocence they both carried from only being on the streets for about 4 months was hopeful as they shared about their desire to have different lives.

After talking with the boys and further discussion with others we quickly set up a meeting with a man in charge of an orphanage in the area. We told him all we knew about the boys and our desire to help them attain a different life. The meeting seemed to have gone well and they spent the night with us once again. The next day while most of the team was out of the house the boys came to us and said they were going to go to the youth service. It seemed a little odd because Shimilis had told us that morning that the meeting was in the evening and at this point it was still early afternoon. Also the facts that Kurbel was going with him and that they were in a hurry were a bit out of the ordinary but we didn't think much of it at the time.

At around the time they told us they would be back, there was a knock on our door. Shimilis was there laying on the ground crying, there were several police officers and many bystanders. The events that took place between the time the boys left and Shimilis returned are still unclear. We took Shimilis to the emergency room as he seemed to have been beaten by other street boys. There was mention of money being stolen from us but at that time we were unaware of any missing money. Our landlord who is also one of the residents in our compound asked us not to have the boys inside the gate ever again. So after the hospital we had to inform him that he could not come back to the house, we set up a time to meet the following day, and tearfully walked away. We have met with him every day since then. We continue to buy him meals at least once a day and have built a good friendship with Shimilis. He has continued to go to the youth services and spends every minute possible at the church to avoid the negative lifestyle of the streets. He has so much hope in his eyes, he is visibly changed.

We have yet to see Kurbel since the day he left.

When we got back from the hospital that day we all checked our belongings and the only thing missing was about 700 Ethiopian birr (equivalent to 40 USD) from my wallet. It was all I had as I had just exchanged money the day before to buy souvenirs for friends and families. We were shocked and confused as to the seemingly sudden change in the boys.

We talked about the possibility of the reason being that it was just too much temptation for the boys. I had accidentally left my wallet in the room where they were alone. They had seen me put the money in my wallet that morning. But if that were the case, we discussed, then why is that all they took? There were ipods, cameras and wallets laying out in the open in the same room with the boys.

Over our different meetings with Shimilis he has been able to shed some light on most of the situation.

In the meeting with the man running the orphanage he talked to the boys in Amharic and only translated for us at the end. Apparently, he left a few things out. Something he said to the boys was that he would search for their families and possibly attempt to reconcile them.

I mentioned before that the stories of these boys pasts are heartbreaking. I was not exaggerating.

It turns out that for their own security they felt they had to run even from us. There was much fear of being forced back to their families. We took from this that the money they took from me was simply a means of survival for them.

A couple days ago Shimilis heard word about Kurbel being in the Mother Theresa house due to some kind of illness. We went the very next day but had just missed him. None of us have seen him to this day. We are all still hoping and praying for at least the opportunity to tell him that we understand. To tell him that he is forgiven. That he is loved.

Our entire team grew to love these boys very quickly. Kurbel being only 10 years old and desperate for family had began calling me and Efrain Mommy and Daddy by only the 2nd day. At first I loved it because it meant he felt safe with us, but we had to talk with him very quickly to remind him that we are only here for a short time and cannot live up to the roles of Mommy and Daddy.

Every day I think I see him on the street. I really believe God put both of them in our lives for some reason.
Please pray with me and my team for another opportunity to see Kurbel and for continued transformation in Shimilis.

We are still talking with people in the area and looking for opportunities to help Shimilis get off the street. Please join us in praying for a quick solution.

Me and the boys before they got to shower and put on clean clothes. They LOVE the camera.

Efrain and Kurbel both lookin spiffy.

And We're Off...

2011-07-08T06:25:00.000-07:00

At 4 o'clock in the morning my team will be gathering to pack the vans! We'll get dropped off at a bus station in Varnsdorf, Czech Republic to catch the first bus to Prague. Then we will catch the metro to the airport and continue our journey on to Istanbul where we will be for a few hours before we head off to our final destination of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia!

We arrive in Addis early Sunday morning local time.

I have so much anticipation and excitement for these next two months. Looking forward to having so much to share with you!

Team Ethiopia!

2011-07-04T10:54:00.000-07:00

Team photo .. still in Germany... but not for long!

The Koshe Project.

2011-07-03T01:19:00.000-07:00

One of the projects my team is going to be working with is one that I have mentioned before. It's called The Koshe Project. Pioneered by Pick A Pocket. Watch this video to learn more.

[ Video by my friend Stephanie Eatherly - Video Genius]

We leave in less than a week. I'm getting so excited it's hard to sleep at night. I'll keep you posted as much as possible. We have some exciting ideas for working with the people and my sister is already lecturing me about taking more pictures than ever before.

Fast Pace.

2011-06-08T07:19:00.001-07:00

I still have more to share about Romania but I can't wait to share about the next thing any longer!

Today, the students learn what team they will be on for the 2 month outreach! I think it's safe to share about that now! :]

Efrain and I will be leading a team to Ethiopia beginning the second week of July for 2 months!

Romania - Bandaid?

2011-06-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

My friend here came and sat by me in the grass while everyone was playing soccer. He showed me his foot and we played charades for a while to communicate. He had a really bad cut on his foot that went all the way through to the bone. I poured some of my water over it to wash out the mud and dirt. He implied that he didn't think it was necessary. As I racked my brain trying to figure out how I could help him I remembered having a few bandaids in my purse which was in the van at the bottom of the hill. He was so excited about this and as we were on our way to the van I remembered taking the bandaids out while packing for the trip. I felt so bad. As I communicated this to him he was visibly disappointed but assured me he was ok with a shrug of the shoulders. We said good-bye but I knew I had to go back.

Two days later my co-leader took the team to a different Village and I arranged to go back to Cold Valley. I had this boy in mind and was told that I may not see him again because there are so many kids in the village. Within a couple minutes of walking up the hill, Andi, one of the pioneers for ministry in Cold Valley, had found my friend and was sending him over to me.

I brought first-aid materials with me. As we sat down and I began cleaning his foot, he was so thankful. He didn't flench one time and had no fear of the pain I warned him might come with the alcohol spray.

I finished wrapping his foot as it began to pour down rain. He was so thankful. The extra bandages I gave him seemed to be priceless. He thanked me numerous times before we had to begin running down the hill to escape the rain. I love this little guy.

Romania - Cold Valley Gypsy Village

2011-06-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

Cold Valley is a Gypsy Village in the center of Targu Mures, Romania. I had the opportunity to visit Cold Valley while leading a team of students on a week long outreach and partnering with YWAM -Targu Mures.

Cold Valley feels much more like India and much less like Europe.

I instantly fell in love with the place. And I believe you will as well.

You enter Cold Valley at the bottom of a steep, dirt road. As you make the ascent into the Village kids begin to flock on and around you from every direction. Kids with no shoes, kids with no pants, no shirts, with clothes that are much too small, and some with nothing on at all. Kids with smiles and kids without smiles. Some have scars. Most are filthy. All are beautiful.

Run down houses line the dirt road on both sides as well as trash filled ditches. Parents stop and stare at you, most of them smiling and waving. About half way up the hill you see a water pump off to the right where you see a man rinsing the sweat and dirt from his body as women and children wait patiently with their buckets and bottles in hand.

You're told there is no running water in the Village. However, a government incentive program has provided the Village with free T.V. Satellite.

You walk for a total of about 10 minutes to the top of the hill and here the ground levels out and you discover a broken down play ground and an open field of green grass. If you look straight ahead and don't turn around, you might forget the poverty that awaits directly behind you.

Here is where you spend a few hours playing with the kids; pushing them on swings, playing on the broken teeter totter, teaching them how to "high-five", playing Duck-Duck-Goose and teaching them Red Rover, teaching them action songs, making yourself look like a fool for a few laughs, and hoping with everything in you that you have what it takes to make the face of the clearly broken child right in front of you crack a smile.

When it's time to leave you begin the descent. Still carrying babies, piggy backing and hand holding, you wish you never had to leave and simultaneously feel desperate to get away from such brokenness.

By the time you've reached the bottom of the hill most of the kids have waved good-bye and went on their way. And then there are the ones that come all the way down and whose hands you have to pry off of your own.

In a few short steps across the street, you seem to transfer from the Third World back to Europe.

Romania - Pictures from the drive.

2011-06-07T02:53:00.000-07:00

A few hours into the journey... we find the same map we have at the YWAM base... in a gas station in Slovakia!

One of our many times of worship and prayer on the journey... some at truck stops, some at borders, some on bridges crossing the highway...

While driving through Romania, a country with less than 200 miles of highway, we stumbled across a huge crater along the pot-hole filled, dirt road we were driving on. We got out to take a team picture and ended up exploring for a while.

Some of us were pretending, some of us were not.
It tasted surprisingly refreshing.
No we were not desperate for water, just desperate for adventure. ( Or maybe reaction. )

I may have ended up falling down part of the mountain behind us in this picture. And I may have really big bruises to prove it. But if people think the leader of the group should have been a little more wise than that...then maybe I didn't and maybe I don't. :]

Romania... The drive.

2011-06-06T05:44:00.000-07:00

We got back from Romania at about 6 o'clock Saturday morning. I'm so anxious to share about this trip that I'm hesitant to begin writing for fear of not being able to portray the reality of the impact this trip had on me and my team.

Sunday, May 29th.
3:30 a.m. - We were all at the meeting point. I felt strongly that the trip needed to be kicked off with a reminding message about the life of laying down your rights and loving one another above yourself. My friend and co-leader, Caleb, and I talked about that with the students for a few minutes before all 9 of us piled into a 9 seater van and began the journey.

4:00 a.m. - Leave Herrnhut, Germany at the scheduled time. That's a miracle in itself.

4:30 a.m. - Arrive in Poland and stop to have a time of worship and prayer. We felt that God wanted us to do this in every country we drove through. Though this added a lot of time to our journey, it was totally worth it. We took pictures and enjoyed the sunrise for a few minutes.

5:00 a.m. - Arrive in Czech Republic. Stop to have our time of worship and prayer, fill up the tank and figure out how to purchase the sticker necessary to legally drive on the highway.

10:00 a.m. - Arrive in Slovakia. Stop to have our time of worship and prayer, purchase the highway sticker for Slovakia and Hungary and take a few pictures.

1:30 p.m. - Drive through Budapest, Hungary and discover a beautiful city. Everyone in the van fell n love with the place. Can't wait to go back there to explore. We stop here to have our time of worship and prayer for Hungary.

After lots and lots more driving, we finally arrive in Targu Mures, Romania at ...

11:00 p.m.

After considering the 1 hour time difference, we concluded that we had been traveling for a total of 19 hours.

We had so much fun and I was so impressed by the continual selflessness of my team. It was a beautiful thing to be a part of that. They really loved each other above themselves. The trip was filled with conversation, dance parties, failed attempts to sleep, Nutella, admiration of cultural differences, and a lot of potty breaks. We all decided we wouldn't have traveled there any other way. No planes, trains or buses bring people as close as a

We were met by the very hospitable staff of YWAM Targu Mures and went to our hostel right up the street from the base.

And thus continued our adventures...

From left to right : Simon, Brooke, Lydia, Josh, Caleb, me, Becca, and Michael

I didn't get many photos on the way there.. this is a team photo taken at the place we stopped at in Hungary (minus Julian, the photographer)

Mini - Outreach!

2011-05-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

This weekend we leave for the "mini- outreach" I mentioned in one of my last posts.
The teams are set so I can tell you where we're going...

Romania!

I am so excited about this. When we were still in the planning process for this school God put this country on my mind and I wasn't sure why. When I decided to take a team there for this short trip I wasn't sure if it was something God specifically wanted or if it was random. As the outreach options were being presented to the students for them to ask God where they are to go, one of the students got up and left the room with tears flowing down her face. The story is that this was one of the first times she had any confirmation of God speaking to her. The days leading up to this day she felt God had been speaking Romania to her, but had no idea that it would actually be an option. Of all the places we could go. She heard God speak and it has given her confidence to move forward in her relationship with God. It was an encouragement for the both of us.

We are going to be driving all the way from Germany. It is apparently only supposed to take between 13 and 15 hours. It looks like we will be going from Germany, through Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary and finally end in Romania where we will spend the week! Wow. This is going to be quite the road trip!

My team is so excited about the outreach possibilities in Romania. We hope to work in the slum areas surrounding the city and we have a few other opportunities that I'll tell you about when we get back.
We're going with the hope and intentions to make a difference in the lives of the people we meet, and with the hearts of those in my team I am sure it will happen.

Video!

2011-05-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

I put together a video of my time in Bangladesh and India and I am so excited to share it with you. This is the first video I have ever made so give me some grace. :]

Let it speak to you and pull at your heart... even the uncomfortable parts.

[ In order to have a larger view of the video, double click and watch full screen. ]

Once Again...

2011-05-14T14:37:00.000-07:00

I just got back to Germany after being in the States for two weeks! I didn't let many people know I was coming because I was surprising my family. I was on the West Coast for the wedding of two good friends of mine and on the way back to Germany I stopped on the East Coast for a week! I didn't let anyone in my family know that I was coming.. I just showed up on their doorstep! It was a lot of fun. After almost an entire year of not seeing them, there was both laughter and tears involved. I have missed them so much.

I was also able to spend time with friends and even share with some about my time in Bangladesh and India and future plans.

I am currently in the middle of staffing another school. It was a big decision as I didn't have much of a break from the Marriage of the Arts DTS before entering another chaotic schedule, but I am so excited about this school. There are 22 students, slightly smaller than the last school with over 100 students, so it is completely different. I'm loving this just as much but for different reasons. It was difficult in the beginning because my health was making me feel very inadequate. Since I have been back I have been doing much better and am really excited about the changes that have already happened in the lives of the students, and all in the one month the school has been going on.

In two weeks we will be going on a "mini - outreach" for a week! This is to give the students an opportunity to put into practice what they have been learning in the lecture phase up to that point.

I'm so excited to let you know where I'm going to be taking a team! I have to wait a couple days before I can let you know because the students aren't sure what teams they are on yet and I don't want to ruin any surprises!

I should be able to let you know in the next couple days!

little things that are a big deal.

2011-04-15T03:23:00.000-07:00

The last message I got from my sister... Enjoy.

"K. So. If u go to thailand- its illegal to leave the house without underwear.
If u go to switzerland- you can't flush the toilet after 10 pm.
And in rome its illegal to dance sing or eat in the streets in groups of 3 or more..
You can't take chewing gum into singapore
U can't sit eat or drink on steps or in courtyards near major churchs and public buildings in florence
In japan. Its illegal to be. Fat. Haha
No porn in. Morocco.
No water guns in Cambodia
And no naming pigs napolean in france. So.
Choose ur next mission trip wisely! :-)
Jeez. Def don't go to thailand. Jeez! I mean you HAVE to wear underwear! Hahhahahahaha"

It's nearing a year since I've been home to see my friends and family in the States. It's good to know I'm not forgotten. Though I'm sure Stephanie sent this to me strictly for the laughs, it really made me feel loved and missed.

Just as chewing gum is a little thing and a big deal to Singapore, so are the little things, like this message from my sister, a big deal to me.

A Little Boy Who Lives On the Street

2011-03-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

Nazabeen, a little boy who lives on the street, was the first friend I made upon my arrival in Guwahati. I fell in love with him after giving him my fresh squeezed orange juice from a street vendor, dancing with him on the side walk as people crowded around to watch, playing hand games with him and laughing with him as he mocked my English words. After asking a stander-by to translate for me, I was able to ask the surrounding flock of street children where they slept at night. I was hoping their response had gotten mixed up in translation when he informed me that they live on the train tracks. With pieces of trash put up as walls and laid on the dirt for beds, they live on the train tracks. Without parents, they live on the train tracks. Without many things that you and I consider necessary, they live on the train tracks.

A couple weeks later, we ran into Nazabeen and his friends whom we had been spending our time with on what was seemingly a typical night in the city. They began to accumulate around us and within minutes we had kids on our backs, hanging from our arms, clinging to our hands, pulling on our shirts and yelling bhalobashi [ball-ah-boshi]. Bhalobashi was a term we picked up in Bangladesh and translates to I love you.

We built beautiful relationships with them as we fought for their hearts and safety as we protected them from police trying to throw bricks at them and street vendors attempting to beat them with sticks as if they were stray dogs. They grew to love us back and showed it as they prevented other beggars from asking us for money. They went from holding out their hands for our money to forcefully taking our hands to hold their hearts and in every instance they were surely taking our hearts as well.

The atmosphere felt much heavier this particular evening. It may have been because it was our last night and it was time to say goodbye. Our hearts were much more involved than the night we first met.

At the end of this particular night as we tried saying goodnight and goodbye, Nazabeen just wasn’t ready for us to leave. He followed us to the gate of the Missions Compound we were residing at and continued to hold on to us. He climbed up my body as if I were a tree and he a monkey and clung to me as if he would never let go.

I realized that we were going to have to walk away from his terrified eyes and into the gate of the Mission Compound in order for him to head home. This was the first time I had seen fear in his eyes, it was as if he was afraid of walking home alone. A street boy, I had assumed, would be immune to the fear of darkness, but street or no street he is just a little boy. As soon as I began to interact with him through the gate of the Compound, my eyes were immediately opened to the symbolism of the picture I was standing in; the Westerner on the inside of the safe gate, and Nazabeen, the little boy who lives on the street, on the outside. I rushed back outside of the gate to kiss his dirt covered cheek one last time. Before we could leave I was able to snap the photo of one of my students, Louise, and Nazabeen being divided by the gate.

After taking this photo and walking away, I ran back to the gate and watched the tiny silhouette of a little boy, cast by the dim streetlights, bounce up and down as he ran as fast as he could until I couldn’t see him anymore.

Back in Germany!

2011-03-13T00:17:00.000-08:00

Hi!

I am back in Germany!

After waiting for our bus to arrive to take us to the Kolkata airport, making some phone calls, being told to be patient with the hot climate culture that is never on time, and realizing that it actually wasn't coming because it had mistakenly been booked for the wrong day by our contact, rushing to get enough antique yellow taxis for about 20 people, 13 being my team and the rest for our luggage, we finally arrived at the airport. My taxi drops us off at the domestic departure section of the airport, we walk with our luggage 5 minutes to the International departure building hoping to find the rest of the team there, once we are all gathered we rush in only to be met by an airport service worker asking us for our flight information, only then to be told by this man in his broken English and Hindi accent that the check in gate is already closed because we are late.

He rushes us through the first two security checks, we have to scan all of our check in luggage before we can even begin to check in for the flight, all the while we are trying to fill in our customs forms and being told by the check in counter man that so graciously re-opened the counter for us that he is missing one of our passports that he found after I asked every student on my team to look in their bags again for their passports a third time.

Shew.

Arriving in a rush to customs the man in the desk is looking at my passport and he asks me, "when did you arrive here?". Blank face. What seems like minutes later of racking my brain for the answer to this seemingly obvious question, I respond with "I have no idea". I look to my student at the next customs desk, "Kerstin, when did we arrive here"? Blank face. As both of the customs clerks continued to laugh at me and Kerstin and we began to laugh at ourselves, he looked at the stamp in my passport and said "the 29th, the 29th of January is when you arrived here, does that sound right?". "Yes, sounds perfect." He then looked at the picture in my passport and asked if I was sure that was me.

Smarty pants.

We were able to board the flight as soon as we arrived at our gate! After a 6 hour flight, a 9 hour layover in Dubai, another 7 hour flight, a 6 hour train ride, a 1 hour train ride and a short bus ride home we finally arrived back in quaint little Herrnhut.

This was just a week ago and we have been going ever since.

I have so many photos and stories that I am anxious to share with you. I'll be working on getting those together in the coming weeks.

Until then, I'll entertain you with a photo of my two student leaders who stole my camera one night (that I'm pretty sure we were supposed to be packing) and left me with this... introducing Ryan and Louise - my mature, responsible student leaders. :]

On a serious note, they were the best. I couldn't have lead the team without them as my student leaders and as my friends.

Bangladesh Update!

2011-01-15T03:44:00.000-08:00

My first update on Bangladesh, I'm writing from Berlin.

I'll get to that in a minute...

I am in love with Bangladesh. It's beautiful. That's most likely not the term most people would use to describe an extremely over populated, filthy, sewage smell consumed land, but that's exactly what it is.

I don't have many pictures to share yet as I haven't had any sight seeing time, but this is a small glimpse into the culture.

What a crazy journey we are on.

As to why you are being updated from Berlin...

I had to come back to Berlin to get all of our Indian visas. After many times of getting our hopes up in hearing from the Bangladesh Embassy before we left, they did not complete them in time for us to get our Indian visas. In fact, they barely finished the Bangladesh visas in time for us to catch our flight in the first place. They had to send our passports via a carrier to the airport in Munich! Some of the students found this a little unnerving. Normally, I would have also, but if you know me at all, the fact that I was able to remain completely calm during the day of travel to Munich only proves that I have learned so much during the planning process of this outreach.

This picture was taken in an elevator at the Munich airport ( that somehow fit all 14 of us - including our hiking packs! ) while I was handing out the passports that we had just picked up an hour before our flight was leaving! Haha!

After we made it to Bangladesh without having to spend over 3000 Euros to change 14 flights, turns out that our solution for getting our Indian visas while remaining in Bangladesh wasn't going to work out after all, due to unstable laws in Bangladesh.

This lead to me having to fly back to Germany to get all of our teams visas and leave Efrain to lead the team alone. This also happened to be the week that we would be split up into two separate teams in different locations. So the night before the rest of the team was to leave for the next location in Bangladesh and I was to head back to Germany, we asked two students to be student leaders for the time that they would be separated.

All of this in one day. :]

The next day as the team left early in the morning, I prepared for another day full of travels. Minus my team.

Last night I was able to pick up the visas and I am currently ( not so patiently ) waiting for the evening when I will head back to Dhaka. Only to have one more day of travel within Bangladesh to finally be reunited with my team. :]

When I first arrived back in Berlin ( after going directly to the Visum Centrale from the airport and finding a hostel to check into ) I called Efrain on a team phone to let him know I had arrived. It was kind of late for them due to the time difference and he was in a tribal village under his mosquito net ready for bed. Kind of comical if you ask me.

I have to admit, I was a little jealous. Would I rather be in a tribal village or a hostel? Right.

He was able to tell me again how amazing and passionate our team is. They are hearing the stories of the people and being creative in how to make an impact.

I can't wait to get back there and I can't wait to be able to tell you more of what my team has done. And to think, this is all within the first week!

7 weeks to go....

:]

We Are Our Culture.

2011-01-01T14:58:00.000-08:00

We are our culture.

This is a thought I had months ago. I wasn't sure exactly what it meant or how to apply it, so I wrote it on a sticky note on my computer and haven't touched it since. I would see it every once in a while, I even thought about deleting it a few times, but it always made me feel something deep inside so it stayed.

The other day I was in a van on my way back from a long day in Berlin, dropping off my teams passports for visas to Bangladesh and India. And all of a sudden this thought came to me again, and this time with so much meaning.

We are our culture.

I'm leading a team of 14 to Bangladesh and India for two months. I have so much responsibility with this team, and if grace didn't exist, I would have already failed. I've thought a lot about what it means to lead this team. I was talking to a friend about it over the break and she casually mentioned me being their "coach" during this time. Coach. I had never thought about it that way.

I am going to be coaching a team these next two months.

As I was in the van, thinking about how to coach a team, I realized that this is a very privileged position. I have the privilege of having a platform to guide the way these students live their lives, not only these next two months, but for the rest of their lives.

I've been processing a lot about what it means to be an ordinary radical and I have been forced to re-think how I want to coach my team.

Any time there are teams sent out for outreach there is orientation about the new culture they are entering. It is important to be culturally sensitive for many reasons. If one is culturally insensitive, it is very unlikely that you will be accepted into the homes and hearts of the people. Your opinions and words are discredited and you will most likely offend someone without even knowing how you did it.

One thing that I know about India is that there is segregation between men and women. It is culturally inappropriate to display affection of any kind in public, and it is common for women to be left out of conversation. It is a male dominated country. Women are deemed inferior.

I am responsible for coaching my team on how to be culturally sensitive. But what about when I disagree with the cultural idea? Every culture has wrong ideas woven throughout history that have become accepted as tradition, often religious tradition, and this is no different with America and it's Christian traditions.

So which culture do I live by? Which culture do I coach my team to live by? Do I just choose one? Maybe the one with the most "truths", which would inevitably always be the one I grew up in? Should I just live by the culture that I'm living in? Or something completely different?

My conclusion is this.

There is only one culture that I will live by. One culture that I will coach my team by.

The culture of the Kingdom.

I will still respect every culture I encounter, but I will not comply with any cultural idea that does not line up with the right one. I love the story of Jesus and the woman at the well.

Everything about this situation was scandalous for the culture that this story took place in. Men do not speak to women, and Jews do not speak to Samaritans. He was a Jewish man, she was a Samaritan woman. She also had such a terrible reputation that she went to the well at the hottest time of day when no one else would be there. Jesus accepted her fully for who she was, even when it went against the grain. He did that a lot. Went against the grain.

"I see a people who live apart and do not consider themselves one of the nations." [Numbers 23:9]

The culture of the Kingdom of God is like no other. And it is scandalous and it is radical and it is mine.

Ordinary Radical.

2011-01-01T13:42:00.000-08:00

These past months of discovering the truth about the very real issue of global slavery have been both challenging and inspiring. Though at times it still feels the opposite of inspiring, more depressing, the overwhelming effect it has had on me is that of inspiration.

I am inspired to make a difference. I am inspired to use my voice. I am inspired to use every opportunity to cause change through my choices. I am inspired to not accede with injustice.

I keep asking myself what does it mean to be a Christian? In all of the countries I have been to it has been assumed that I am a Christian simply because I am from America. Parallel with "to be Turkish is to be Muslim" is "to be American is to be Christian". But what does it really mean to be Christian? As in, what does the Bible say? Not what does America say.

In America, it doesn't take much to be considered a Christian. In fact, you don't even have to attend church regularly to claim the term. We have so diluted the word "Christian" that it doesn't mean much at all, and often, it even implies something negative.

I've been thinking about it a lot lately. My thoughts recently lead me back to this term, ordinary radical.

Fundamentally, this means that for one who lives as what most deem radical, it is completely ordinary.

The more that I read the Bible, the more that I learn about Jesus and His life, I realize that there is no other way to true Christianity.

A couple mornings ago, I ran across this verse and had to stop.

" '...I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers and against the adulterers and against those who swear falsely, and against those who oppress the wage earner in his wages, the widow and the orphan, and those who turn aside the alien and do not fear Me,' says the Lord of hosts. 'For I, the Lord, do not change...' " [Malachi 3:5][NASB]

There are rarely times that I read the Bible and do not find something new about God's passion for justice. This is just one of many things that have stood out to me the last few days. The part that stands out the most is that He states that He will be a witness "...against those who oppress the wage earner in his wages, the widow and the orphan, and those who turn aside the alien...".

This one verse addresses the issue of slavery and forced labor and the current hot topic of immigration.

Another version translates it a little differently; "...I will speak against those who cheat employees of their wages, who oppress widows and orphans, or who deprive the foreigners living among you of justice, for these people do not fear me...".

The majority of Americans are still shrugging off the fight for Fair Trade as a trend. This is not a trend! This is reality! People complain that to buy Fair Trade is too expensive. Those people are why slavery exists. There are thousands of people that are enslaved to forcefully working impossible hours, with little to no pay, and no way out. This is very real. And this is an understatement to the reality of their pain.

I just wonder how people justify creating a demand for slavery simply to save a few cents.

And I'm not okay with people using the excuse that their choices don't have consequences enough to make an impact. Every choice has a consequence, and everyone has a choice.

Everyone makes the choice as to which side of the fight they are on. There is no neutral ground.

Slavery or No Slavery?

Use. Your. Voice.

Outreach Update!

2010-12-18T02:03:00.000-08:00

Wow. Today is the first day of Christmas break for the Marriage of the Arts DTS. What a whirlwind these last four months have been.

It has already been over a month since I shared that I'm going to be taking a team to India for the first couple months of 2011! I have had so many things to share but could not find any time to do so. A lot has changed with our outreach plans already. I have been learning about "flexibility" since the beginning of my journey in missions and teaching my team what that means was a good reminder that things don't usually go as planned, and that I need to try my best at keeping the best attitude and moving forward gracefully.

One of the big changes is within the team. We started out having a team of 31 going to India! Thankfully, we were able to make two separate teams by finding another leader to help.

I am now the leader of a team of 14 going to Bangladesh and India!

One of our teammates, Ellie, fell on her very snowy walk to class last week and broke her ankle. She is now home for Christmas break and we will be in process of making a decision about whether or not she will be able to join us for outreach. She is very anxious to go with us so please keep this in your prayers.

My team is amazing. There is so much passion within my team and I am anxious to see them put it into action!

Check out the newsletter they made and you will understand what I am talking about!

[ Click to enlarge photo ]

Provider.

2010-11-28T07:22:00.000-08:00

I think that most people dislike the idea of living off of support, never knowing where your money is going to come from...I've really come to love it.

Earlier this week I realized that I had started to worry about finances again. I have really learned to trust God to take care of me over the past few years, but every once in a while fear and doubt creep in and catch me off guard. That's what I found happening earlier this week. My attitude was sensitive, I was getting stressed out easily, and I was thinking twice before giving to others. That is usually the give away for me. I really love giving to people, I love feeding people, giving them little gifts, buying them a coffee when they're having a bad day (or a Diet Coke for Tash). When I find myself thinking about money every time I want to have someone over for dinner or buy them a dollar coffee, I know it is time to realign my thinking.

When I realized it was that time earlier this week, I stood in my room against the heater and talked to God about it. I told Him I really needed Him to help me with my support. I only prayed about that for a couple of minutes before moving on to something else, and I walked away hoping to see Him move in powerful ways.

And as always, He has been.

The very next day I received an email from a good friend of mine. She briefly mentioned something about a dream she had about me that previous night, before moving on to talk about the Holidays. As soon as I read the line about her having a dream about me, I knew that I was supposed to hear that dream. I told her she needed to tell me what it was about, and she quickly responded back acknowledging that she was supposed to share the dream with me. I won't share all of the details of the dream, but what she shared with me reveals how powerful God really is, and that He hears us and cares about us so much.

The dream woke her abruptly in the middle of the night as she heard God tell her very clearly to give me support. God often speaks to me through dreams, and on rare occasion through dreams of others, and this was so powerful for me to see Him moving on my behalf.

The very same day, another good friend of mine, whom I had not talked to in months, found me online and decided right then to send me support for my India trip via PayPal.

Just like that. In one day.

I received another email today from friends telling me they sent in support. As the other situations, completely unexpected.

I never know where I'm going to get the support I need from. I do my best at communicating with people, I try and raise support the best I know how, and none of it would work if God were not moving on my behalf. I am so thankful for everyone that has ever supported me in any way, I am so thankful that this is the life I get to live, and I am so thankful that God is always moving on my behalf, that He provides for me not only with the necessities of life but with constant revelation of how good He is.

Not For Sale. [Conference Cont.]

2010-11-28T01:16:00.000-08:00

I started to finish the post about the conference the day after I finished the last one but things have been very busy. I left with some really important points to still be covered so here they are.

The purpose in the conference was to raise awareness on the issue of global slavery, challenge people to get involved and provide practical ways to do just that.

One of the most important messages brought to this conference was one that we have all heard before, but is such a key to being able to bring an end to this monster. It is the paradox of loving your enemy.
This is such a key to being able to defeat this monster for many reasons. In this situation the majority of people view the perpetrator as the enemy. This is an entire topic in itself but just think about this for a minute...

A friend of mine was a part of a team creating a documentary in the red light districts of Thailand, and while she realized that if we do not love the men that are causing this industry to flourish, the demand of victims will continue to rise, others on her team did not think along the same lines. Her teammates regularly talked about how they wanted to hurt those men, called them names, continued to belittle them. While I realize that this is generally the initial reaction for everyone when they hear a victims story, we cannot stay in that place. We need to be angry at the evil being done, but we must love. Always. Not accept and not tolerate, but love. This was one of the most impactful times for me during this conference.

David Batstone, author of the book Not For Sale, is phenomenal. The world is indebted to him and his passion that makes him one of the most influential abolitionists of our time, and probably soon to be, in all of history. I strongly recommend reading his book, but know that if you do, you will be able to stay apathetic towards this issue no longer. One of the most powerful things that David brought to the conference was that of "smart activism". The concept is pretty self explanatory and he shared many practical ways that people of all facets of life can get involved and help in the fight against global slavery. ( http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/ )

Global Slavery...

2010-11-14T02:02:00.000-08:00

Interesting article about global slavery and human trafficking...

http://www.alternet.org/world/142171/there_are_more_slaves_today_than_at_any_time_in_human_history/?page=entire

Not For Sale. [Conference]

2010-11-11T07:06:00.000-08:00

This last weekend was the long awaited Injustice Conference featuring Not For Sale. Please look them up if you have yet to do so. They have created tools so that justice seekers from all facets of life can be united in the fight against the monster of human trafficking.

http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/

My plan for this post is to do a synopsis of the things I learned and was challenged by during the conference... I can already tell you that it's going to be difficult to compact the entire weekend into one (or several) posts on the internet. But I'm going to do the best I can to ensure you are not able to walk away from this without being stirred and challenged as I was.

We first heard from David Hamilton, a man that has been extremely influential as an international YWAM leader for many years now. I could talk for hours about what he shared. It was about the very foundation of fighting injustice... We cannot fight injustice out of reserved obedience, but only out of intimate relationship with God and a heart of gratitude. We cannot do it out of a sense of "Christian duty" and we cannot do it out of humanitarianism. If our choice to fight injustice stems from either of these, we will be quick to grow weary and easily be defeated. Without the grandness and goodness of God to give us hope we will be paralyzed by only seeing the enormous size of the monster we are fighting and the minuscule size we as individuals seem to be in comparison.

David was followed up by Steve Goode, founder of YWAM's Mercy Ministries. Steve addressed the issue that people face in thinking that the problem is too big for an individual to be able to make a difference. He shared an old African Proverb that goes like this...

"How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time."

Steve stirred a passion in me that wants to help individuals see that they can make a difference. Every individual has choice and every choice has consequence, therefore everyone is in the fight. It's up to you which side you are on. You can choose to have the consequences of your choices be that of helping to bring freedom to the slaves or continuing to keep them in their current state of bondage.

I'm going to stop here and continue later. I hope that my attempt at sharing with you my thoughts provoked by this conference is speaking to you. I believe that in order for it to impact you with a lasting effect you must be intentional about diving deeper into these points.

To be continued...

MOTA Update!

2010-11-01T02:33:00.000-07:00

Wow. Time is flying. I can not believe that October is already over! We only have two months remaining of the classroom phase in this Discipleship Training School! I have some really exciting news to share with you! As you know, part of a Discipleship Training School is dedicating two months to going out and putting into practice the important principles learned during the classroom phase. The hope of a DTS is that the students would have their lives transformed and the things learned during classroom phase would not only be put into practice during outreach phase, but would become their lifestyle. I believe that this is really happening with these students. I have already seen so much transformation happen in so many lives here, this is very exciting, and it is making me antsy for outreach!

Part of my role in staffing this DTS is to lead a group of these students for the outreach phase. This means being responsible for everything from setting up the two months of travel and accommodation in a foreign place, to making sure the discipleship process continues, and everything in between. Before the school even started I was confident in knowing that God had already spoken about where I would be taking a team. So I just had to wait and hope that others heard the same thing.

And they did!

I will be leading a team to INDIA! with two friends of mine! We have 5 different outreach teams and locations with this school and my team is going to be one of the largest of them all! I will continue to give you the details as I learn them...and with only two months left to plan this outreach... details should be coming very soon!

Thank you again for joining me on this journey... I look forward to sharing many stories about the chaos very soon. :]

P.S. I would really love to hear from you about your life!

An Echoing Dream.

2010-10-17T02:52:00.001-07:00

I had a dream last weekend. It has been echoing in my heart and mind ever since...

I'm standing in a huge ballroom, decked out with chandeliers and hundreds of women in wedding dresses. I was one of the hundreds wearing a wedding dress...don't get any ideas, Mom.

I was not, however, giggling and talking about cake details with the others.

I was angry. And apparently a little, or lot, more bold in my dream than in real life. I began yelling so loudly that everyone stopped their chattering to listen to what I had to say. As I was yelling, I was stripping off my earrings, kicking off my shoes, ridding myself of everything materialistic except for the dress.

I was yelling something about how ridiculous it is that we spend so much of our time, emotion, money, and sometimes even relationships, on the "wedding" and forget that the purpose of a wedding is a marriage!

This is something that I am passionate about in real life, so it didn't seem so strange that in a dream I would be trying to get a room full of brides to open their eyes and see what is really important. I hoped that they would see that what our culture has made tradition is just that, tradition, and unless we understand and agree with the meaning of the tradition, it's empty.

Much more importantly, I hoped that each woman in that room would understand that her value is inside of her. It is not found in anything materialistic and it is definitely not found in meeting all of the impossible standards that our culture has set for us to try and meet. All in the name of beauty and acceptance. No. Your value is inside of you. And any attempt to gain it from elsewhere is a complete waste of time.

After a while, I realized that though these women were listening to me, they were not hearing a word I was saying. I left the building, bare feet and wearing a white dress.

It was pitch black outside. I was angry. And I was now walking barefoot, on a gravel driveway, lifting up my dress as to not trip on it, walking slowly because of the gravel and bare feet combination, when a man met me and asked if I needed help. My response was something about being angry, and just needing to pee.

He told me that he knew where a restroom was and offered to show me the way. As we turned around and headed to a building I had just passed, I could see into the room I had just left, through the beautiful high windows into the bright ballroom filled with all of the hundreds of brides. The building the man was leading me to was connected to the building with the ballroom, but in contrast, was completely opposite.

It was dark, dingy, dirty, dilapidated, dusty, and just plain daunting. It was too late to try and excuse myself from his help when he told me that the restroom was in the attic. I had been scared up to this point, but now my fear was turned to terror. I know that people don't have restrooms in attics. As I started climbing the ladder into the attic, frantically trying to think of an escape, I realized that I had reached the point of no return. And no one was coming after me. The brides were still discussing cakes and flowers, up-do's and tiaras, venues and carats...

I reached the top of the ladder and peered over the floor of the attic. I can't even think of words to describe to you how I felt in the moment that I realized what I was seeing.

This was part of a child sex trafficking ring.

The only thing in this room other than little girls were the blankets on the floor. The first little girl I saw was standing up in the back of the room with her hands up to her mouth, biting her nails, wearing a dingy t-shirt that was much too big for her. The look on her face was that of sheer terror.

Thankfully, the dream never made it to this point, but I felt the violation and abuse that those girls had been experiencing even after I had awakened.

My immediate thought in coming out of this dream was that this must be stopped.

The contrast of the brides in the ballroom to the little girls in the dusty attic is huge. The symbolisms in this dream are astounding. The church is referred to as the "bride of Christ" and "it is for freedom that Christ set us free".

If only these brides were walking in their freedom and looking outwardly, they might have been able to see what was going on right next door.

If even ONE of those brides had opened her ears to hear and accept her value, maybe she would have come after me when I ran outside... Maybe there would have been a rescue.

I felt I needed to share this dream to serve as a wake up call.
I heard a teaching this week on the topic of injustice. Something that the speaker said was that we can't be involved in every area of injustice in the world, but we must be involved in something. I believe this with all my heart. Let's not be looking at ourselves, living for ourselves, wasting our time. Let's instead be doing what is good.

"He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" [Micah 6:8]

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead

Human Trafficking

2010-10-06T04:32:00.000-07:00

In my last entry I said I would post information about the issue of Human Trafficking. The following is a piece I wrote meant for a brochure advertising the Injustice Conference we are hosting in November featuring Not For Sale. If you are interested in attending, let me know!

Awaken to Reality : Arise to Action

This just in. It has been reported that an estimated 27 million people have had their lives stolen and sold to become the property of evil. They have been turned into slaves. A slave being defined as one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence or person, one who is wholly subject to another. This is a problem. A problem leaving the rest of the world feeling paralyzed and hopeless. It seems that the influence of the initial action of evil in turning someones sister into a sex slave, is the same influence that protects itself from being sought after. It has made us all believe that it is an evil so big, so powerful, so mighty, that we stand no chance in the fight to bring restoration to the lives stolen.

This is human trafficking. The sale of human beings. This illicit trade is quickly on its way to becoming the largest in the world, soon to outgrow even drug trafficking.

Taking into consideration that an estimated 80% of these victims are women and girls and 50% children, this evil becomes even more intimidating upon learning that human trafficking is mostly for prostituting these women and children in the sex trade.

So yes, it is true that the illicit trade of human trafficking is currently described as “the largest slave trade in history”.

But do not be deceived into believing that this evil is too large to be destroyed.

Together, we do have what it takes.

There are many other intimidating monsters of injustice, a big one being extreme poverty. While the grandness of extreme poverty can be just as paralyzing of an issue as human trafficking, we must be intentional about keeping the truth of hope in front of us.

The purpose of this conference is to address such issues as these, to unite the body of Christ, to challenge us to engage these issues with fierceness in our actions. We must rise up. We must engage. We were born for this.

What are you waiting for? Lack of knowledge? Need for opportunity? Not sure how to get involved?

Wait no longer. Join us as we gather from all over the world to become more educated on these issues, learn practical ways to take action, and engage with the body of Christ in seeking God for strategic ways to fight injustice. Join us as we gather to rise up, and fight these monsters...

Jeremiah. Part 2

2010-10-06T03:25:00.000-07:00

In my last entry I talked about "extracting the precious from the worthless" and making a lifestyle out of that idea... making it something that your mind is trained to do on a regular basis.

This idea always brings me to the topic of "sacred vs. secular".

This is a very complex topic in itself, but the idea is that there has become a separation between things Christian and non- Christian where there was never intended to be.

Something that I have been doing for the past several years is finding little hidden pieces of truth. I use the word "hidden" because that's what they have become due to our worldview being that of the previously mentioned topic, "sacred vs. secular".

I love finding these little treasures within all kinds of media, especially music.

I want to share one of my recent discoveries with you...

The lyrics are from the song "They Don't Really Care About Us" by Michael Jackson.

"Tell me what has become of my rights

Am I invisible because you ignore me?

Your proclamation promised me free liberty, now

I'm tired of bein' the victim of shame

They're throwing me in a class with a bad name

I can't believe this is the land from which I came

You know I do really hate to say it

The government don't wanna see

But if Roosevelt was livin'

He wouldn't let this be, no, no"

The first two lines instantly brought to mind the issue of human trafficking. I will be following up this entry with a piece on this specific issue of injustice.

While I realize that this song was intentionally political, I believe it speaks volume about much more than government...it speaks about the church.

"Your proclamation promised me free liberty..."

I do not want to be "the government" that doesn't want to see.

I want to live a life that is so loudly fighting for the things on God's heart, for restoration and redemption of His people, that I would be the name one would use to stir passion in other peoples hearts.

At first glance I thought Roosevelt's name in these lyrics could be replaced with Jesus...but then I remembered... He is living. And He wants to use those of us that are listening to put a stop to evil.

But still I think that the lyrics are fitting to the apathetic church with only a couple of changes...

"Tell me what has become of my rights?

Am I invisible because you ignore me?

Your proclamation promised me free liberty, now

I’m tired of being the victim of shame

They’re throwing me in a class with a bad name

I can’t believe this is the land from which I came

You know I do really hate to say it

The church don’t wanna see

But if Jesus were living,

He wouldn’t let this be, no, no."

Open your ears and eyes.

Jeremiah.

2010-10-03T07:34:00.000-07:00

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was roll over and grab my Bible off of my nightstand. I started reading Jeremiah...

Jeremiah never fails to speak to me.

In the next few entries I am going to be diving into a few of the messages that have changed my life from this one man's story...

"And if you extract the precious from the worthless,
you will become My spokesman..."

[ Jeremiah 15:19 ]

I first discovered this verse a couple years ago. It was late one night and I was tired, I simply wanted to read to fall asleep. By the time I got to this verse I was just reading the words, I wasn't really comprehending anything anymore. I kept reading until I was pretty far past this particular verse and stopped mid-sentence as what I had read in this verse, minutes ago, began to register.
I went back and read it several times, I was shocked at what I was discovering.

So much for reading to fall asleep. Within a few minutes I was sitting up in my bed, reading this newfound revelation, aloud and with excitement, to my roommate.

I looked up the definition for "extract" and this is what I found; to draw out with special effort, to forcefully remove, get something despite of difficulties or obstacles... I could go on but I think you get the point.

God answered Jeremiah's prayer with this encouragement to forcefully draw out the precious from the worthless. He then went on to say that if Jeremiah does this, he will then become a spokesman for God. Think about that. A spokesman for God. Isn't that what we, as Jesus followers, aim to be?

Extract the precious from the worthless.

This speaks about so many different areas of life...

How can YOU extract the precious from the worthless in and around your life?

Practicing this mindset on a regular basis has the power to transform our attitude in every facet of our lives.

Prostitution in Germany...Part 3

2010-08-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

Wow. We’re here. That was abrupt. I shouldn’t have been talking to Ruth on the way here, I should have been trying to prepare myself somehow. It’s like we were walking through a normal city, and now all of a sudden, this. This is foreign. Like nothing I’ve ever seen, and yet somehow, it’s a part of the same city, the same street we’ve been walking since we got off of the train.

There is that string of red lights strung onto the crane that I saw high in the sky a few blocks back. I was wondering if that was for this...

It is much worse than I expected. Though I did not know what exactly to expect, this, this is not it. The spiritual atmosphere is very heavy and dark, but the emotional atmosphere that surrounds me seems to be the complete opposite of what I’m feeling inside. They seem to be so light hearted, it seems like they are actually having fun. It’s almost as if they are, at least for the moment, actually convinced that this is no big deal.

I think this would be easier if everyone here looked sad and lost, then it wouldn’t feel as hopeless as it does right now. But look at them, they’re laughing.

How could I ever make a difference in a place like this?

Wow. I can’t believe how aggressive that girl approached that man. And look at how much older he is than her. Gross. It’s like she doesn’t even see another human being, just a job to do.

There are so many people here. And a Burger King on the corner. I agree with what Ruth just said, it is kind of a disgusting thought that they would want to associate themselves with this place.

I knew that coming to the Red Light District would be difficult, but this...

I can’t believe I just saw that. And on a television screen, on the outside of a building, with people surrounding it, eating a meal...

I feel nauseous.

The buildings and streets are so dirty, a reflection of the spirit of the place I guess...

Ok. So where are we going? A street that only men are allowed on? I don’t understand...

There are girls lined up every few feet on the street.. why? What are they doing here? I can’t believe it would be for that... I want to ask her what she is doing here. What she would rather be doing... I want to tell her that she can live the dreams that she had as a little girl.

Whoa. Someones little girl... I wonder if she ever felt like anyones little girl. Or maybe she had to grow up too fast...

Here we are. A street blocked off by a wall... ironic that the wall itself is red?

... and metal.

What does that sign say? Oh, that one is in English...

“ Under 18 and Women: Prohibited”

I guess they got that wrong if what I think is back there is really back there.

We’ve been standing here for a while, and I am shocked at the steady flow of men that are going behind that wall...

There are so many men going back there. Just a typical Saturday night? How do they do that? I am so sad for them...

I’m really trying hard not to cry... but maybe I should just let it all out... maybe they would wonder at first why I’m crying... but then realize .. it’s for them.

Ok God. This is hard.

But I know that you are bigger than this...

But it’s hard to keep that perspective while standing right here in the midst of this...

please keep reminding me.

.........

This was only a part of my journey through the Red Light District of Hamburg.

It was my first time in a Red Light District.

I learned so much. It was difficult. It was worth it.

I love those people. I want them to know that they are loved.

One thing that God gave me during that time was a question.

A question that was more of a statement. A question that is going to change lives...

“Do you know who you are?”

If a man knows who he is, he will only walk behind that red wall made of metal for one reason...

to fight for justice.

And justice will be fought with the strength of God....

Prostitution in Germany... Part 2

2010-08-15T13:46:00.000-07:00

In my last entry I spoke about the important role that raising awareness on issues of injustice is to the actual achievement of the goal; to bring about change.

I have changed my mind.

Not about the importance of raising awareness, but the part about change.

In a book I just finished, the author says this:

“ Change is not always a good thing. What I need isn’t change from one thing to another but transformation from who I am into who I was meant to become. Only when God’s transforming power touches me can I begin to live the simpler, freer, fresher, more creative, more patient, more passionate, more sacrificial, riskier, rawer, more real, more love-driven life God intended for me to have all along.

The transformation is what awaits all who will dare to enter the story of God. As Paul wrote, ‘Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.’ (Romans 12:2).”

I was shocked by that statement. Because while the change that we are working toward is a good thing, after reading this, I realized that maybe we are selling ourselves short. Maybe, just maybe, by the strength and grace of God, we can do more than just bring about change, but maybe we can actually see a complete transformation.

Dream with me for a minute.

What if we could see...

...the mindsets of the Europeans that think buying sex is a casual night out, transformed to a completely new mindset in which they truly know the value of each human life.

...the wealthy of the west have mindsets transformed from greed and luxury to a mindset of caring for their neighbors across the sea that don’t have dinner.

...the impoverished in the east have mindsets of hopelessness in their ability to change their situation without relying on others, transformed into mindsets of hope and confidence in the power of generosity and prayer.

...apathetics transformed into activists.

...

Prostitution in Germany.

2010-08-02T05:41:00.000-07:00

I recently began doing research on the topic of prostitution in Germany, as well as human trafficking, and have been shocked at my findings. A lot of the information I had heard before, but not from this perspective. I was expecting to find the majority of my information from organizations involved in helping to change the way things are being done. Instead I continue to find videos, websites, discussion boards.. endorsing the use of services offered by sex workers in Europe.

This was a wake up call.

It's easy to forget the important role that raising awareness plays in the actual achievement of change for which the awareness needs to be raised.

We must not be silent. Not even for the risk of making others uncomfortable.

Reminder.

2010-07-25T11:47:00.000-07:00

Last week I had the opportunity to spend a few days in Berlin with my good friends, Mark and Kassidy, from YWAM Nasvhille. They have plans to move to the city in continuing to do missions. They have taken a couple trips to the city in preparation for the move so they have learned a lot of the history of Berlin. During my visit they took me to the Berlin Wall and a few other historical places. The picture above is a part of the Eastside Gallery at the Berlin Wall. Different artists from all over the world have painted different sections of the wall with different messages. Some strictly political and some religious, some filled with meanings and some seemingly meaningless, some with words and others with no words at all. This was just one of many that stood out to me that I took a photo of. It's so simple but so powerful. So elementary but so thought provoking.

"MANY SMALL PEOPLE WHO IN MANY SMALL PLACES DO MANY SMALL THINGS THAT CAN ALTER THE FACE OF THE WORLD."

It shouts a reminder that everyone of us has a role in the transformation of this world that we inhabit.

Let it serve as a joyful reminder that you have the opportunity to play a part.

If you look closely at the picture, you will notice that the artist is sure to include the varieties of the seasons throughout the painting. This speaks to me. It says that no matter where you are on the journey, no matter if you are the falling leaf or the giving Dandelion, you have something to offer. It's in your nature. You can't change the way that you were created, because you had no part in the creative process. You are the creation. And you were created with a role in this story of life.

Love and be loved.

I am free.

2010-07-14T04:51:00.001-07:00

Doors.

2010-07-08T01:06:00.000-07:00

I mentioned before that Germany has seriously beautiful doors. Here is one that I saw on my walk home a few days ago. I plan on showing you lots more!

Marriage of the Arts.

2010-07-07T03:28:00.000-07:00

Marriage of the Arts DTS is the school being pioneered by my team, Pick A Pocket, which starts this Fall.

motadts.showitsite.com

I have the opportunity to staff this school, and I am so excited!

At first I was excited for the simple fact that staffing a DTS was the reason I joined YWAM in the first place, and I'm finally going to be able to do so. But since I've been back in Germany, I have been talking to different people about the vision and passions behind this school and am now excited on a whole new level. Already in this school, we have about 100 applicants. This is a huge number of students and we still have almost two months before the school starts!

While at first, the large number of students made me less excited about the school, my opinion is now very different.

I didn't like that this school was going to have so many students because I felt like that would to take away from the intimacy within the school, and the level of transformation that would take place in the lives of the students. However, my attitude has been changed by things that God has been speaking about this school. A couple days ago He said that the level of intimacy within this school is going to be deeper than anything we could imagine. As I thought more about that I realized that I had been believing that God was going to be limited by a factor as simple as the number of students.

We have already been meeting together as school staff and these have been beautiful times of seeing everyone's heart becoming completely involved in this school.

My opinion about the number of students has changed completely as I have realized that it is exciting that this many people want to be a part of gaining a deeper relationship with God while using the Arts to help fight the injustices of this world.

Trees.

2010-06-12T07:26:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago as I crawled into bed, I realized that I was actually going to have the room to myself for a little while. Those times are few and far in between so I wanted to take advantage of having some quiet time while I had the chance. As I picked up my Bible I immediately felt a sense that that was not what this quiet time was meant for. I love reading the Bible, I crave it, and I was in the middle of something that I had been reading earlier in the day so I wanted to read more, but it felt wrong. I felt like someone had whispered, "look at Me". I sat there for a minute with my Bible open, quickly trying to decide if I was just going to ignore that and read what I wanted to read, or look.

Still somewhat undecided, I closed my eyes. Suddenly there are all of these pictures flashing before my eyes. They were flashing so quickly, and they were all different. But every picture had one thing in common. Trees.

There were pictures of forests, of big trees, pictures of trees at all different angles, looking from the roots of the trees to the tops of the trees, pictures of the tops of tree stumps with all the rings of the inside revealed, pictures of small trees, trees in different seasons...

At first I just thought about my love for trees, but then I wondered why I was seeing all of these pictures. My initial thought was that maybe God gave me these pictures simply because He knows I love trees, and it made me smile, but I felt like that was kind of corny, and that probably, hopefully, He had something to reveal to me.

As I sat there thinking about the "why", I felt a need to turn on my computer and start researching trees. This was kind of ironic because most of the time I'm telling myself to put down the computer and read my Bible. While I felt like I was being a little rebellious, it felt so right. :]

I don't know how long I stayed up researching trees.

I kept waiting for a huge revelation, something that would blow my mind, something that would reveal something about the character of God like never before, I simply kept learning little bits and pieces about how trees worked and why they were good for us. I did fall a little more in love. :]

Once I felt like I was reading the same thing over and over again, just on different websites, I tried to research the meaning behind "the tree of life".

The next day I was sharing this with my friend, Amber, who also has an obsession with trees, and it happened.

Different things that I had learned the night before, came together to reveal the beauty of His design.

Did you know that trees actually filter pollution out of the air and soil? They serve as purifiers.

Did you know that "the tree of life", although sometimes used to illustrate that all life on earth is intertwined, is almost always used to symbolize Jesus?

Isn't that powerful?

Isn't that beautiful?

Jesus. The purifier.

Jesus. The tree of life.

While this isn't the best tree picture ever, it is a picture of my favorite tree in Tennessee, taken out the window of my car.

Leaving Home.

2010-06-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been kind of difficult...

now that I only have a few days left at home I have to start getting ready to say good-bye...again.

And this time I'm going to be gone for the longest time I've ever been away.

I keep thinking about all the things I'm going to miss.. weddings, birthdays, Sunday dinners with the family, friends...

I was finally able to have another "night night" with Shaylan... and although she kept asking me if I was "done moving" and I had to fight the tears... we had a blast as usual. :]

One of the many funny stories from that night:

I said something about God and how He created her and bugs and cats and dogs and elephants and frogs and trees and dandelions... and she had a questioning look in her face as she pointed to the ceiling and said "fly Kaci"? In Shaylan language she was asking me if God could fly and was He in the sky?

... and from then on... God has been referred to as "Fly Dude".

It's Been A While

2010-05-27T22:15:00.000-07:00

One reason I was nervous about starting a blog: not updating it often enough.

Thankfully, I have Josh to keep me accountable. Seriously. Happy now?! haha

Over the past few weeks there has been quite a bit happening.

I went to Nashville for a week for Tasha and Josh's wedding as soon as I got back to the US. It was a good week as I got to spend much needed quality time with a few specific people. Also, the wedding was beautiful and so much fun.

I finished the 30 Days challenge last Friday! I learned so much during that time. I made it the entire 30 Days without paying for any of my own food. Can you believe that? I think it says so much; one thing being that I have amazing friends. It definitely gave me a bigger peek into the life of extreme poverty. To think about having to live my life as I did while on the Challenge, but not be able to tell people that the reason I needed them to feed me was because I was on a challenge and that it would end soon, is such a scary thought.

Really I've been learning so much over the past few weeks.

If you don't already do so, you should consider reading Oswald Chambers daily devotional, "My Utmost For His Highest". It is beautiful and challenging and so many other things. It never fails to speak to me.

Traveling Home.

2010-05-08T05:28:00.000-07:00

After two months in Germany and a long day of traveling, I finally arrived in Wilmington on Thursday night!

I can't believe I'm back here already. I was expecting my time in Germany to feel so long because I've only ever been out of the country for two months at a time. I was relieved when I found out that even though I was moving to Germany for an indefinite period of time, I would be able to come back home after two months because of the Pick A Pocket Tour. I thought I was going to be so homesick.

But when it came time, I wasn't ready to leave. Don't get me wrong, I was and am so excited to see my people! I was ready to come home, I just wasn't ready to leave. I spent yesterday, my first day back, with my mom and I even got to visit with my friends, The Stonewalls, at their gig downtown last night! And yes, my mom came with me! And yes, she is crazy. haha! I have been learning so much about my mom the past few months and she is really great.

So, what's on the agenda that brings me home after such a short period of time in Germany?

Today, I head to Nashville! Tasha and Josh are getting married! I'm so excited to be a part of this wedding. Oh! And I have three friends going with me, none of whom have met one another! :]

And then over the next 6 weeks or so I have Tracy's wedding to attend! Yay! My little sisters high school graduation! :] And to conclude it all, the Pick A Pocket Tour in Nashville! I'm also looking forward to helping with flood relief!

Ok. I have to tell you about Thursday morning when I left Herrnhut.

I get up at 4:30 am to finish gathering my things, leave my house packed and ready to go around 5:30.
I walked down the street, rolling my suitcase, to meet up with my four friends that came with me to the train station! Oh, and Herrnhut decided to go back to winter so it was FREEZING COLD!
Simon made Amber drink a Red Bull so that he could be entertained by her hyper-ness. We got to the train station and Simon, Efrain and Josh wondered aloud why we were there so early. Amber and I ( haha yes Amber, I'm still including you in the blame) had to shamefully admit that we planned to leave at an earlier time than necessary just so we could have a party at the train station. At least we didn't go with 4:30 like I was trying to get Amber to agree too.

:]

Funny thing is, I didn't need to plan extra time for a party at the train station, because my train was 40 minutes late. Did I mention it was FREEZING COLD?!

So I got to hang out with Amber, Simon, Josh, and Efrain at the train station for an hour, watch Amber on fast forward, take some pictures (Josh, delete it!) , and realize how great my friends are.

Because my first train was late, I missed my connecting train and had to wait another 40 minutes in the FREEZING COLD at that train station. My Plane was leaving at 9:20! My trains being late didn't out me at the airport until 8:50! You are supposed to be at the airport 2 hours early for international flights, so I was a little nervous waiting at the train stations, but everything went smooth and I wasn't even the last one on the plane. :]

30 Days Challenge!

2010-04-23T07:36:00.000-07:00

The Pick A Pocket 30 Days Challenge exists to raise awareness and sensitivity for the issue of extreme poverty. The challenge is that for 30 days you commit to not paying for any of your own food. Relying solely on God and others to provide each and every one of your meals. By doing this you gain new understanding and a new perspective on what it would be like to be a part of the large percentage of the world that lives on less than $1 per day.

This not only a powerful way to help open the eyes of the individuals taking the challenge, but it is so impactful for those being challenged to participate in the challenge by providing a friend, family member, or complete stranger with a meal because of a commitment one made to give their meals for a month to those living in extreme poverty.

This leads to the other part of the challenge that is to donate the estimated amount of money that you normally spend on food for a month, to Pick A Pocket, with 100% of all donations going directly into the projects created to help eradicate extreme poverty and raising awareness for these issues of injustice.

So, why am I telling you about this now?

I just started the challenge yesterday! I guess I’m partially telling you because I’ll need your help when I am home in a couple weeks! And by needing your help… I mean I’m going to need you to feed me. :]

I’m nervous about taking this challenge because I know that I am going to have to completely depend on other people, but I am so excited about the opportunity to learn through this experience and share it with you. Look for an update soon!

Check, check it!

2010-04-21T10:20:00.000-07:00

46 page preview of the new Pick A Pocket book!

http://tumblr.com/xar8w7lya

Iceland...

2010-04-20T02:49:00.000-07:00

Volcano?!

I'll be home in just over two weeks...

hopefully!

:]

and hopefully I'll have room left in my suitcase for clothes... due to many requests of German chocolate.

Refuse To Hate.

2010-04-18T02:57:00.000-07:00

As you know, Pick A Pocket has been raising money to get a book published. The book is full of stories of people we have met, projects that have been started, and lives that have been changed. Enlaced throughout the pages are amazing photographs taken by various members of our team.

We recently met our goal in raising the necessary funds and are preparing to submit the book to the publisher. This is a big deal.

It’s a much bigger deal than self publishing a book, it’s bigger than completing a large task, its bigger than just sharing what we have done, its bigger than all of these things.

The reason it is such a big deal is because what lies within the pages is a declaration.

A declaration that a difference can be made, that lives can be transformed, that the world can be changed.

It serves as an announcement that every life matters and that every voice deserves to be heard, that although you may have been told something different, you do have what it takes.

So many of us have been taught that we can’t make a difference because we don’t have what it takes, or that the problems are too big and there is no point in trying. The truth about this lie is that we not only have what it takes, but it’s what we were designed to do. The truth is that it is possible.

The truth is the world needs us to open up our eyes.

“We do not have the right to be silent sentinels... we must cry out when we see evil being done.” - Charles de Foucald

A sentinel: a person or thing that watches, or stands as if watching.

It’s time to raise your voice. It’s time to take a stand.

I have a challenge.

Refuse to hate.

For the next couple weeks, do this simple thing.

 It might sound silly right now. But I promise, as you are being intentional about this, you will find many more opportunities than you think you will.

You might not see what this has to do with what I was just talking about, but it has everything in the world to do with it.

This is about tuning your heart to the truth. We are all playing a flat tune. It’s time to get back on key.

I would love to hear feedback on what comes up over the next couple weeks and I'll have a follow-up soon.

The Pain.

2010-03-27T13:12:00.000-07:00

Today is one of those days that I am angry at the pain. I have learned to live with the constant pain of Fibromyalgia, but there are random days when it just makes me angry. It doesn’t even always have to do with the level of the pain, although today, I think it does. The past few days have been pretty bad, but today it is almost unbearable. I just want to scream, or better yet crawl out of my skin. The pain, it always plays with my emotions. This makes it difficult to understand my own thoughts and feelings. I wish it would go away, forever, but if it’s going to stay, I wish it would not be so stinkin’ obnoxious. But I really think that one of the most difficult symptoms of this disease is the game it plays with my emotions. It makes me want to escape, but I want to stay. It makes me want to lie in bed all day, but I want to get out. It makes me feel lonely, but I have so many friends and family that love me. It makes want to be short tempered with people, but I only want to love people. It makes me want to not do anything for the rest of my life, but I want change the world. It makes me want to yell at God, but I know God is good.

And that’s the truth. God is good.

Safe?

2010-03-25T15:46:00.000-07:00

Tonight I experienced a whirlwind of emotions. Not because of any particular event, I guess it's just part of the transition process. I can't say I didn't expect it, I've actually been surprised at how smooth the transition has been so far. And even though tonight my heart feels like it has been through a tornado, I feel secure.

There is this quote by C.S. Lewis that I keep going back to;

“Safe? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good.”

You should read this, and then read the comments. Read as many of the comments as you have the time for; let them challenge you, let them make you cry.

http://donmilleris.com/2010/03/25/the-single-most-powerful-question-you-can-ask/

New...

2010-03-23T14:54:00.000-07:00

I have discovered that moving to a new place, with new people, reveals to you your insecurities that are typically masked in familiarity. It gives you a new level of awareness. I actually really appreciate this part of moving to a new place, with new people. I appreciate it because it gives you an opportunity to change those areas of your life. It’s like when I was growing up, I went to a zillion different schools, and often Mom would try and tell us to look at it as an opportunity to start over. That never made sense to me then, but I can think of a few times over the past couple of years in which I took her advice from years before and was able to take back parts of my life that had been stolen from past hurts and disappointments.

The Creek

2010-03-20T11:04:00.000-07:00

I have been here for a little less than a week now and seem to be getting settled in.

Yesterday, I walked to the Castle (which is what the YWAM base is referred to- I’ll post a picture later that will reveal why).

It is such a beautiful walk. During my visit here in December I thought so much about the beauty of this walk that we have to take on a daily basis. It’s about a thirty-minute walk each way. It always makes me think of Pride & Prejudice. I love that movie. I love it for a few reasons; one being that I love chick flicks and it’s basically the ultimate chick flick of all time, two being that the dialogue is combined with both beauty and comedy, and the third reason for my love of this movie is the cinematography. It has some of the most breathtaking scenes. The scenery of the movie is so much like that of the walk that I have to take to and from the base everyday. At about half way, you come to the middle of this steep hill, and leaning against the guardrail I stopped to watch the creek for a little while. At this particular spot there are large rocks that the water has to run over and it makes this amazing sound, the sound that we have all heard before, the simple sound of running water. I appreciated it so much at that moment. I wanted so badly to climb down and drink of that creek. That sound made me so thirsty. Not thirsty for just anything, but for water. But not for just any water, I was thirsty for that water. It felt like nothing else could quench my thirst but the water in this creek, directly below me, running over those rocks. I thought about climbing down and scooping some up in my hands, but the guardrail was holding me back. After all, I figure the guardrail was in that location for a particular reason, and since there was still snow on the ground and everything was especially slippery, it didn’t seem that it was worth the risk of falling into the creek and having to trek back home soaking wet and freezing. :]

But it got me thinking. I thought about why it was that I wanted that water in particular. I believe it was the experience. I felt as if I was experiencing something other than myself, out of my control, something good. Do you think that is what it’s like with God and feeling satisfied? Like how there are some moments, when we really encounter God, that we know, I mean really know, without any doubts, that God is the one and only thing that fully satisfies? I have experienced that with God on occasion. I’ve had encounters with Him that made me feel satisfied, fulfilled, to the point that nothing in the world could have even tempted me to give in to any sort of instant temporary satisfaction, nothing that could make me question His good intentions for me.

I believe it is like that feeling I had when I was thirsty, for only that water, when we get a true glimpse of God and we know that he can only satisfy us. Nothing less. I’m thankful for those times because it helps get me through the times when I feel like I will never be satisfied, the times that I am almost angry at God for making me have passion because I fear not being able to live it out. I am grateful.

Oh Germany...

2010-03-17T14:52:00.000-07:00

I’m currently using coffee as my weapon in the fight against jetlag…

As you already know, I just moved to Germany. Last week was my preparation time – and it was filled with a variety of emotions.

I’m going to tell you a story that might make you want to call me names… but it’s a cool story so it will be worth it.

During my emotional week of preparing to move overseas I was stressing over how I was going to get to my destination after arriving at the airport in Dresden. The plan was to buy my train ticket online, get on the train at the airport, make the two transfers, and arrive at the Lobau train station where I would be picked up. So, I purchased my ticket online and emailed my friend what time I would be arriving at the train station. The problem that I was stressing out about however, was not taking the train, but that I would be taking a train, making two transfers, carrying a hiking pack weighing in at about 50 lbs., a book bag weighing in at about 30 lbs., and pulling a suitcase behind me that weighed in at over 45 lbs… a total of… more than I weigh myself. Maybe this wouldn’t be a problem if I was a regular at the local gym, but that’s just not the case… and taking into consideration the 15 hours of travel time behind me, jet lag, and the ole’ fibro, it wasn’t looking good. I shared my concern with a good lady friend of mine, Brien, and she encouraged me to remember the times that God had given me grace in so many situations before, to trust Him to take care of me. Sometimes when we get what seems to be cliché responses like this, whether it is concerning God or not, it is annoying and can make you feel as if the person on the other end of the conversation is ready to be thinking of something else, but this was not one of those times. I really thought about what she said. I remembered back to the many impossible situations that I had been in before and became very intentional about not allowing that future situation to weigh on me anymore.

After leaving Wilmington with a beautiful good-bye, having Sarah and Bryson, Tyler and Josh, and Mom and David at the airport, I flew to my first lay over at Charlotte. (Sorry to Josh and Dale who wanted to come say good-bye at the airport but couldn’t because I got bumped to an earlier flight.) Thank you, Mom, for holding back the tears to make things easier for me. I didn’t cry until the plane from Charlotte to Frankfurt, and it only lasted long enough for me to remind myself that it wasn’t forever and that I was excited to be a part of something bigger than myself.

Speaking of the ride from Charlotte to Frankfurt, I almost missed it. Yep, I was the last person on the plane. How did that happen when I had a two-hour layover? I was on the phone and I kept looking over at my gate and the sign behind the check in desk said Jacksonville, so I thought my plane was late. When I finally went over to check, they said last call for Frankfurt as I handed them my boarding pass. I was very close to being very upset with myself. Ha!

Back to that story that I want to tell you but don’t really want to tell you…

So, I was stressing about taking the train and carrying the weight of someone bigger than me… my friend told me to trust God… and I stopped stressing so much about it. I wish it were always that easy…

So, I’m in Frankfurt excitedly waiting to be on my last 1-hour flight, and I keep waiting, and I keep waiting. Remember, I have already purchased my train ticket for when I arrive at Dresden. Yeah, well, I have already missed my train and I’m barely on the plane. The man that is my neighbor to the right of me starts up a conversation and when he realizes that I don’t speak German, begins talking to me in … Spanish. Oh, you didn’t know that I spoke Spanish? Me either… only what I learned in my two months of living in Mexico and Belize. He figure out that he lives in Dresden, that he is very friendly, and that he is just on his way home from spending six weeks in Antigua to learn Spanish, which was a gift from his daughter. I pull out my train ticket and ask him if he could help me. He takes my ticket and starts speaking to himself in German. He then gets on his cell phone and starts having a conversation in German. At this point I briefly think to myself that he could very well be talking to a fellow psycho on the other end of the phone and that it is very possible that they are scheming my kidnap. The thought also crossed my mind that I was thankful to have not seen the movie Taken. However, I realize you may be thinking the opposite. :]

Before I have time to continue these thoughts of the stranger strategizing my kidnapping, he gets off of the phone and somehow communicates to me that his wife will be waiting for us at the airport and that they can drive me to the train station that my friends were going to pick me up at. The previous thoughts of my kidnapping make a brief appearance in my mind once again before my neighbor to the left of me begins to speak to me in English. He is an older businessman that has an intimidating countenance. When I answer his question as to where I am headed he begins to speak with the Spanish speaking German seated to my right (which I find out only when we are in Dresden that his name is Ziggy). When they are done sandwiching me with their German, the guy to my left that speaks English attempts to fill me in on what their conversation was about.

“ We are fighting over who is going to take you.”

As he realizes how that sounded, he begins to laugh hysterically, leaving Ziggy to wonder what he has just said to me, and leaving me to, well, go back to the original thoughts of my own kidnapping.

I prayed a little. Not a lot.

I laughed a lot.

And though I mentioned having thoughts of being kidnapped, they were few and not very serious. Maybe something that helped me believe this was something that God was doing was that I am typically skeptical toward men and during this situation I felt a kind of calmness and comfort that I don’t even feel on a day-to-day basis.

Before I tell you how the rest of the trip went I want to share something with you. It is a paragraph from the book I am currently reading.

“The great stories go to those who don’t give in to fear. The most often repeated commandment in the Bible is “Do not fear.” It’s in there over two hundred times. That means a couple of things, if you think about it. It means we are going to be afraid, and it means we shouldn’t let fear boss us around. Before I realized we were supposed to fight fear, I thought of fear as a subtle suggestion in our subconscious designed to keep us safe, or more important, keep us from getting humiliated. And I guess it serves that purpose. But fear isn’t only a guide to keep us safe; it’s also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life. “

This has been a common theme for my life this last year. Really, the last three years, but particularly this last year. I keep making decisions that do not make much sense from a worldly perspective. I’m sure that people have thought me to be a fool many times this last year, but God has continued to guide me. I am not successful in what our culture has deemed successful, but that is not what I am passionate about. Actually, I don’t care about that much at all. The only time I even consider what the world must think of my decision-making is when I am dealing with my insecurities and my lack of trust in the goodness of God. Instead, it’s what I am passionate about that is the motivation for most of my decisions. Making a difference in the world. Being a part of something bigger than myself. Doing something that will change the world for the better. Learning more about who God is. Living a life that points to the real reality. Considering these things is how I make my decisions. Except the small ones, like where to go out to eat, I just don’t make those decisions at all. :]

So, whatever happened with Ziggy?

Well, when we got to the airport he used his phone to call the number I had for the YWAM base here in Herrnhut, and together they decided on a meeting place. Together, we walked from the airport, both carrying my bags, to meet his wife who embraced me with a hug. They packed my bags in their small car and off we went. Once my friends arrived and my luggage had transferred vehicles, we exchanged hugs and said our good-byes. They refused to take the money I offered to pay them for their help and they drove off just like that.

…

I realize that blogs are not supposed to be three pages long, but I was having so much fun. :]